Random Detritus
by smashman42
Summary: The Nerima Wrecking Crew leaves a lot of destruction in their wake. They've even managed to leave some story fragments in my mind. These are the fragments I couldn't make into a larger story worth publishing by themselves, but I still wanted to share for the hell of it. Usually post-manga universe unless otherwise stated.
I'd do anything!

 _By smashman42_

Ryoga was camping in the woods near… well, to be honest he had no idea where he was.

It all started one day on Akari's farm when he'd got a letter from Ranma and Akane. It was just the usual, telling him about the happenings back in Nerima and what not. They'd sent a few letters back and forth over the last… how long had it been since that wedding disaster? Nine months? Ten? He was sure it wasn't a year yet but it couldn't be far off. Ryoga had insisted on posting his reply rather than making Akari do it. She did so much for him already and surely he could make it to the post office and back without getting lost for _too_ long, right?

That was six days ago. Ryoga was sure he'd crossed at least one sea, or maybe he was just lost on a big river?

So here he was camping in the woods in the middle of who knows where, when suddenly Ranma, in his cursed female form, appeared between the trees.

"Hey, P-chan."

"Ranma! What are you doing here?"

Ranma snorted, "Do you even know where 'here' is, Ryoga?"

"Uh, well… Shut up!" the eternally lost boy verbally lashed out in embarrassment.

"You're in the trees behind Furinken High again, so if you were lookin for us you nearly made it."

"Gah! Why me!" Ryoga shouted to the heavens, shaking a fist in indignation. He slumped for a moment, then began fishing around in his backpack.

"Hang on a minute, Saotome, I was trying to post a letter back to you guys so I might as well just give it to you now. Can you put me on a train back towards Akari's? Or maybe take me back to the Tendo's to sleep in the dojo until Akari picks me up? That way we can spar for a bit, it's been a while."

"Option two might be safer, Hibiki. Plus, beating the tar outa pops is gettin boring, you give me a way better workout than that stupid panda," Ranma said with a snort, before lowering his voice and continuing, "Say, mind if we have a word while we're here? Private like?"

"Yeah sure," Ryoga agreed happily, "You want me to heat up some water for you? I was thinking of making some tea anyway so it's no trouble."

"Nar, don't worry about it, water to change or tea for me, I'm fine. I… It's kinda to do with my cursed form, actually," Ranma said in a tone Ryoga couldn't place.

"Really? What's wrong with it? Wanna swap? At least you stay human," the lost boy chuckled as he started setting up the small gas burner.

"Well, yeah, that's true. At least I stay human..." Ranma trailed off, before refocusing on what he wanted to say, "Anyway, you remember that Koi rod you got me with, don't ya?"

"Ugh, how could I forget!"

That had to be about the creepiest thing that had ever happened between them. Much worse than Ranma pretending to be his fiancée or his sister, both freaky occurrences in their own right.

"Well… You wouldn't know where to find the guy who sold it to you, would you? Or maybe you have an owners manual that came with it, or something? I dunno," Ranma asked in that strange tone again. He sounded worried for sure, but there was something more under that.

"Huh? No, no manual, it was point and shoot. And the guy was a travelling salesman so no idea where to find him. Why do you ask?"

"Well, the mark hasn't come back or nothin, but..."

"But?"

The pigtailed boy looked legitimately upset and nervous now, which was starting to freak Ryoga out. With Ranma being in his female form Ryoga just couldn't punch him in the mouth for it like if he was a guy. _That's probably why the bastard stayed in his cursed form._

"Look, it ain't easy to say this," Ranma said, a look of determination coming over him, "but it's like it's coming back.

"It started sometimes when I'd fall asleep in this body; I'd have dreams I _really_ didn't wanna be having about you. Then if I was in this form during the day sometimes I'd find myself daydreaming about you in the same way. At first it'd only be if someone prompted me to think about you, like if 'Kane wondered where Pchan was or someone else mentioned you, but it's started happening more and more often.

"I wrote to the Jusenkyo guide to see if maybe it was a side effect of gender switching curses, but he said that ain't the case unless the person always though they were in the wrong body, and that sure as hell ain't me! So that leaves the rod, or..." Ranma trailed off looking anywhere but at Ryoga.

 _Was… Was Ranma,_ blushing _? Oh no. Oh no no no No NO NOOO!_

"Y-You can't s-seriously mean?!" Ryoga stuttered, horrified.

"I-I dunno. Part of me hopes it's the rod, but without a mark there..."

"W-What about Akane?" Ryoga shouted, part angry part pleading.

"What about Akari?" Ranma shot back, "Why you thinkin of _my_ girl before ya own?"

That jammed up the gears in Ryoga's head for a moment before he regrouped with righteous anger.

" _I'm_ not the one thinking of _cheating_ here, Ranma, _you_ are!"

Ranma sighed and looked defeated. Head bowed and cheeks flushed, he looked up at the lost boy sadly. _Gah! If he was a real girl that look right now… If Akari or Akane looked at me like that… He's a_ guy _damn it! Don't let him mess with you!_

"Look, Ryoga, the dreams have even started happening while I'm in guy form too, and…"

"And?!" Ryoga prompted.

"And I kinda, sorta, accidentally mighta," Ranma took a deep breath before spitting out the rest as fast as possible, "mighta-told-Akane-about-your-curse!"

Ryoga was stupefied, but apparently Ranma wasn't finished yet.

"I… I've been acting weird for a while, and Akane knows all about it, but she's set on it being the rod so it's something we can fix. But, what if we can't, Ryoga, what if…" Ranma took another deep breath, then went on barely above a whisper, "What if it's _real_?"

"WHAT!"

Ranma turned away from Ryoga and continued on with his train of thought.

"I-I mean, I know you ain't into guys or nothin, but I had wondered if maybe I got some of that ladle water and locked myself in this form, then we could run away together where no-one knows I used to be a guy. You already know I'd do anything for the one I love, I mean I killed Saffron for Akane didn't I? So if it is real and I do love you now, I was just wondering about it. Fantasising or whatever, it isn't like I've got a real plan or noth… Ryoga?"

Ranma turned and saw lost boy was already headed towards the school gates. He paused for a second to turn off Ryoga's little gas burner, then gave chase.

"Hey, Ryoga! Wait up!"

Panicked, Ryoga was looking over his shoulder at the pursuing redhead and ran flat out into what felt like a brick wall. Rubbing the fresh bump behind his ear, he turned to see Akane standing there, arm extended ending in the fist he'd evidently collided with.

"Well well... Hello there, Pchan! I hope for your sake you have a cure for my fiance, or will I just kill you now for being a pervert?"

"Waaaaaaaaaah!" Ryoga screamed as he tore away from the school grounds.

Ranma skidded to a halt in front of Akane, withdrew a small walkie talkie with the transmit button taped down from his pocket, switched it off and started casually tossing it up in the air.

"So, that came through loud clear I hope?"

"Yes, Ranma, I heard every word," Akane replied, holding up and turning off her matching walkie talkie.

"Good. I hope you're happy now, 'cause I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Akane tossed Ranma a Thermos of hot water that he gratefully used immediately.

"Ah, that's better. I still feel dirty but being a guy again really helps. You know, you're nearly as evil as Nabiki when you wanna be, you know that?"

"Hey, you said, and I quote, ' _I'd do anything to make it up to you_ ', after you told me about Hibiki's curse," Akane said as she turned around and started heading home.

"I really never thought 'anything' included, well, whatever the hell that was!" Ranma replied, falling into step beside her.

"Well, never keep anything that serious from me again, and I won't have to punish you like that ever again, will I?"

"So, am I forgiven?" Ranma asked as he tentatively reached out to take Akane's hand.

Akane laced her fingers with Ranma's and smiled.

"I think you've suffered enough, for now."


End file.
